The Night That Changed Everything
by Troll99
Summary: The prequel to Wintertale. What caused such change in John's and Cameron's behavior? Why does Cameron suddenly act very human-like? Why is John so considerate towards Cameron? No actual Jameron. Complete.
1. The Fight

_So, here's the announced prequel to "Wintertale". Why the prequel? As I began posting "Wintertale" many of you asked what happened to John and Cameron that they were acting so differently than in the show. To be honest, at that time I had no intention to write the prequel, but after such questions, I decided to give you an explanation of the reasons for them changing so much._

_After I finished "Wintertale", I announced three chapters for this story. Actually, there are going to be four chapters, the last one being a short epilogue, which will connect this story and "Wintertale"._

_Maybe the idea is not exactly original, but I still hope to give you an interesting story with explanations how John could finally realize what Cameron means to him and how Cameron could actually realize what he means to her._

_I tried to keep all the characters as much OC as possible, given the circumstances in which they found themselves. There's no actual Jameron in this story, just hints of what could be if … I guess that "Wintertale" picked up at the end of this story and served a full dose of Jameron._

_Not to forget: I don't own anything but the plot._

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**Chapter 1 – The Fight**

Cameron stood by the window, unmoving like a statue, sentinel once again. Her eyes gazed through the windowpane and swept the surroundings of the house for possible threats. Her face, set in stone, revealed nothing of what she was thinking about. Ever since the car explosion on John's birthday, she was acting more machine-like than before that terrible day, although her behavior was in complete discrepancy with how she actually felt. She knew that her inhuman behavior irritated John. It seemed that most of the time even her mere presence in the same room caused him to become snappy and visibly annoyed over her existence. Sometimes she tried to understand his behavior and sometimes she tried to excuse his occasional open hostility towards her with what she did that day. But her logic didn't play along the same lines. It told her that he wouldn't point his gun at his mother, that he wouldn't bring her back, if he was so irritated and mad at her then. After such contemplations she often stopped at her words, which she said after he brought her back – her words, he couldn't be trusted any more. Maybe those words angered him? He risked everything to bring her back and yet she accused him of not being trustworthy anymore. But it was the truth! It was only logical that he made a grave mistake by bringing her back. He had no idea how she would react, he risked the only really invaluable life on the planet … his … to bring back her, a machine. He couldn't have possibly known if she was fixed. And she wasn't! She never told him, but he didn't fix her. After she rebooted in the car wreck, she was still under her original programming, her kill order was still flashing on her HUD. But she also could remember everything what happened between them and she chose not to obey her order. She chose to protect him and she was even a little proud that she was able to do so. She never heard of a terminator, denying its hardwired order before.

While pondering over these problems, her face expression changed barely visible, but the change was visible in her eyes, which got that distinctive faraway look like she would be lost in some difficult contemplations. Once again she analyzed her behavior after John ran away to Mexico with Riley. Riley! That was one name she really didn't like. But … how was it possible for a terminator to like or dislike someone or even just a name? Did she have emotions? She knew that she could feel things and emotional stimulus. She told that much to John too, although she suspected that he didn't believe her. At least his reaction in the car, as they drove to Mexico to bring back Cromartie's body, told her so. But having real emotions? However, how could she otherwise explain her active dislike of Riley? She disliked her from the first moment on, not just after they found out who she really was.

After Riley died, John treated her a little better. But there were still days when he was just as hostile towards her as before. And today was one of those days.

Her train of thoughts was interrupted by John's voice. She turned her head slightly to look at him, while maintaining her body rigid. John was sitting on the couch and talking on his phone with some girl from the school. Cameron hated the fact that she didn't go to school with him anymore. Not because she would miss the school. She was irritated that she couldn't protect him 24/7. The absurdity of her thoughts struck her heavily. She was again expressing her dislike for something, she was again expressing something that could fall in the 'emotions' drawer. To be honest: she wasn't sure why she felt that way. Was it really only the fact that she wasn't able to protect him? Was there more to it? Was the real reason maybe that she wanted to be with him?

"OK, Joanne, we'll talk about it tomorrow." John's voice interrupted her thoughts again. Her senses were reaching the alarm stage, mainly due to the fact that John's voice was so friendly while he talked to that girl. Just like when he talked to Riley. When he talked to her his voice was never like that. For her, there were usually only scorn, distrust and anger evident in his voice. Apart from brief episodes like when he helped her with her arm and when she gave him the detonator … when she effectively handed over her life to him, to his decision.

Now she looked at John with slight annoyance, visible in her eyes. He was chuckling while he listened to the girl on the other side and his fingers played with the collar of his shirt, while looking at nothing in particular. "Right, see you tomorrow. Bye." He finished his discussion, put the phone aside and suddenly felt her eyes, resting on him. He abruptly lifted his head to look at her and his face got that annoying-hating look again, just like it almost always did when he looked at her. "What?" he snapped at her unfriendly.

His harsh reaction hurt Cameron more than she was prepared to admit. But she maintained her scary robot mask. "I don't think it is wise to bond with her so closely. She could be security risk." Her voice was flat, mechanical, without any emotion whatsoever.

"Yeah, sure." John nodded bitterly. "Tell me something Cameron; is there anyone whom you don't consider security risk?" He challenged her with clear annoyance in his voice.

Cameron remained stoic and stared into his eyes squarely: "Yes. Sarah Connor and Derek Reese."

John was slightly taken aback by her statement. _Wait a minute! She didn't include herself into that category!_ "What about you? Are YOU a security risk? You didn't name yourself."

"There's damage to my chip. I am potentially a security risk too." Cameron stated flatly, not revealing that she felt uneasy after mouthing those words. _Am I really a security risk? Is there really a possibility I might go bad again?_

Upon hearing her answer, John nodded bitterly. _Just like I expected! After all is said and done, she's just a machine._ He wondered why he felt so disappointed upon hearing her answer. Did he really want her to be more human? Maybe he really was wrong when he hoped that she'd become more emotional. "Exactly like I expected! You're just a machine. You know nothing about emotions, about feelings. So stop trying to mess with my life. Don't try to tell me whom to meet, whom to like." His answer came out even more poisonously than he wanted. All his disappointment over her mechanical nature concentrated in those few words. He looked at her and thought to have seen a flicker of … something … passing across her face. But it was gone before he could be sure and dismissed it as impossible. She was just a machine and didn't know the first thing about emotions. Right?

His words hit dead center of the bullseye. If Cameron had to breathe she'd be now gasping for air. But, being what she was, she did her best to hide how he hurt her. Just a small flicker of hurt crossed her face, but she hid it immediately, hoping that John wouldn't notice it. His words were cruel. Not because he told her she was just a machine. She knew that and she accepted herself as a machine long ago. After all; how could she think anything else? They hurt her because they were said in such accusatory tone. _I can't be anything else but a machine. There's no fairy to turn me into human girl. Why does John resent me for being a machine?_

Her face was emotionless mask as she stared into his annoyed eyes, while she tried to find a way to explain to him why she thought that that girl wasn't the right company for him. "You will expose yourself too much if you keep on seeing Joanne. She's a person who likes to party and draw attention to her. That is highly inadvisable for you." She tried to reason with him, pointing out the facts. He would surely understand and accept such incontrovertible facts.

But it seemed that all her efforts only worsened the situation. It looked just like they were approaching the worse ending of a bad day. From the morning on John was acting strange. He reverted back to his most annoying persona from the Riley times and Cameron was asking herself since the morning what had she done wrong to cause such anger, directed at her. She couldn't remember doing anything wrong and that bugged her. Why was he acting so hostile when she didn't do anything wrong?

John's eyes narrowed at her. He saw her blank face, emotionless eyes and heard her flat voice, stating the facts he knew perfectly well without her telling it to him. He awoke today with a terrible headache and bad feeling that something was going to go wrong and was, expressed mildly, cranky as hell. He spat poison with every word he exchanged with the others, especially with Cameron. He didn't know why he was acting so rude towards his protector. Deep down he knew very well that she was just trying to protect him that she was just trying to be his friend. And even deeper down he felt the same way for her, but buried the unwanted feelings and denied their existence altogether. He was angry with her. He didn't know why, but he was angry that she was such a cold terminator that she was so obviously a machine. He remembered her from the beginning and knew that she could act differently. He remembered when he helped her fixing her arm and he longed for her to be again like she'd been then. Did he want her to be human? No, he knew that much, but he wanted to see her human side again.

"Don't you dare trying telling me that I have to break up with Joanne! Geez, we aren't even a couple! She's just a friend with whom I can hang out." He was looking at her with narrowed eyes and twisted lips, expressing his annoyance.

Cameron noticed all expressions of his mental state but decided to ignore them. She knew that Joanne was not the right girl for him and she was on a mission to show him the right path, to bring him back on the track. "You might get yourself in danger if you'll hang out with her and her friends too much. It a terminator finds you …"

She couldn't continue her advice, because John rudely cut her off with ice cold voice: "As far as I know there's only one girl who tried to kill me. And that's not Joanna. That wasn't Riley either. The only girl … no, I stand corrected … the TERMINATOR, disguised as a pretty girl, who tried to kill me stands right in front of me and tries to teach me about friendship!"

If Cameron managed to hide her hurt before, she miserably failed now. Her head fell down and she looked at her boots. Her mouth opened few times like fish out of water but no sound came out. In her chip, a hurricane of emotions threatened to destroy every coherent thought. After few seconds of silence, she finally dared to look up, just to see John's burning eyes, glaring at her.

"Am I correct? Or did I mess up something?" John never knew when he should stop ranting and what was happening now just confirmed it. Had he not be so blinded by his rage, he'd seen Cameron's slightly misty eyes and he'd noticed the clear expression of hurt on her face. But he was too blind to notice anything. He wanted to vent his pent up anger, frustration upon Cameron being a machine instead of a girl he wanted her to be, so his self-control was as good as non-existent at the moment. "I suggest you remember that the next time you'll try to be smart and tell me what to do. If it hadn't been for you, I'd probably still enjoy in my old school, hang out with Morris and other friends. But you destroyed everything."

Each new word was another hard blow for Cameron. Each and every one hit their target. She felt like she would be crumbling under the blows which John delivered one after another. She felt his contempt, radiating from his every word; she could see his eyes, burning with rage. She tried her best to look stoical like a machine which she actually was. But this time John's words shattered her defenses and she couldn't hide her hurting any more. She tried to reason with him, she wanted to explain to him that the person, chasing him across L.A. wasn't her, but no words came out of her mouth. The fact that the person who actually chased him and tried to kill him wasn't her, that it was Skynet's basic code didn't make it any better. In his eyes, she was the one who almost succeeded in killing him. She, Cameron Phillips, was the only girl who ever tried to kill him. He was right … Riley never hurt him physically.

She felt how her vision blurred a little and registered the moisture in her eyes. She couldn't understand why she would cry. John was only stating the facts, no matter how hurtful they were.

John stared into her face and this time he finally noticed her distraught look. There were emotions written all over her face. This time he saw them. But he was too wrapped up in his hate, so that his eyes registered the look on her face, however, his brain failed to interpret it correctly. So he continued to glare at her, satisfied that she was obviously without an answer for him. It confirmed his conviction that he was right. A terminator, unfeeling machine in the guise of a beautiful teenage girl. That was all what Cameron was. He actually failed to see her wet eyes, or he perhaps only chose to ignore them.

Silence, falling between them after his last words seemed to last an eternity. If asked about it, Cameron could tell exactly how long it lasted … it lasted less than 20 seconds, but subjectively she felt like it would last for hours. Even so … 20 seconds is an eternity for a highly advanced AI and if she couldn't find an answer in such a long time, then something must be seriously wrong with her.

John, still blinded by his rage, suddenly perked up and delivered his final blow: "Get lost Cameron! I don't want to see you right now. Go, make your rounds or whatever it is you're doing when you're out there. I don't care, as long as I don't have to look at you."

After he finished his tirade, he smirked at her evilly. But, just like he'd been touched by the magic wand, her completely crestfallen face finally managed to penetrate past his eyes also to his higher cognitive functions and he suddenly saw her like she really was: a completely shocked girl, staring unbelieving into his eyes, her eyes brimming with tears. He instantly regretted lashing out like some psychotic idiot on her. But before he could say anything, before he could do anything, she turned on her heel and stormed out of the house.

Forceful slamming of the door finally brought John out of his angry stupor. _Why the hell did I took my anger out on her? She hadn't done anything wrong! She was just trying to reason with me and tell me the truth._ He shook his head in sudden attack of sorrow for lashing out at Cameron just to vent his frustration and anger. He knew that she was correct. Joanne was actually just another excuse to shield himself from his feelings he was developing for his terminator protector. He knew that it would be dangerous to hang out with her too much, for the girl was a real party animal and could be seen everywhere where the party was. He also suspected that Cameron wouldn't be exactly thrilled to see him with Joanne so soon after Riley's death.

He fell back down on the couch. During the vivid, but very one sided discussion he stood up not to feel in subordinate position and only now he noticed that he clenched his fists so that his nails dug into his palms painfully. He finally relaxed his fists and put his face in his palms while sighing deeply. He knew he made a grave mistake and he could only hope that Cameron would come back soon so that he could explain to her that he didn't mean it like it looked. _Great! First you yell at her and then you tell her that you didn't want to yell. Exactly the right way to persuade her how reliable and reasonable you are._

After he calmed down he tried to understand why he reacted on Cameron's pointing out of the truth the way he did and the only plausible reason he could find was that he wanted her to be more human and was venting his pent up frustration upon her machine-like behavior. But, he also realized that he actually gave her no reason to act differently. If he treated her like a machine and never let out the chance to point it out to her, why would she behave human?

He sighed again and tensed at the sudden flash of light, followed by low rumbling of the oncoming storm. _She's all alone outside and the storm is coming. I hope she comes back soon, before the hell loose comes any closer._

Suddenly he snorted in disgust over himself and felt like the biggest hypocrite. First he makes her cry, then he chases her away and after that he begins to worry what could happen to her in a stormy night. _Great job, John! Great job indeed!_

TBC


	2. John

_Interesting! I didn't expect so different opinions on the first chapter. Yes, I exaggerated John's behavior, however, in the show he was the most annoying pain in the ass, especially in S2. Therefore I think that on a bad day (and he HAD a bad day in chapter 1 – read carefully!) he could react like I portrayed him. Hadn't anyone of you had a bad day before? A day on which you'd rather strangle each and everyone around you instead of talking normally to them? I did! And not only once, so I believe that his reactions weren't that much off. Besides … at the end he realized his overreacting._

_To soothe 'broken hearts', here's the next chapter already. Man, I'm too generous … ROFL_

_After he sent Cameron out of the house, John finally began to see how idiotic he behaved. In this chapter you'll find out what were the consequences of his overheated reaction._

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**Chapter 2 – John**

Another lightning illuminated the windows and just a second later a rolling thunder caused John's gut to vibrate in the low rumble. Even the glasses on the shelf clinked, just like the whole house would be shaking slightly. _This one was close!_ Since the storm began, John subconsciously counted the seconds between the lightning and the thunder and this time, before he could count down one second, the thunder came. For the last ten minutes the storm was closing in on their residence and he had no doubts that it would pass directly over the house. In one, especially 'illuminated' minute, he counted 35 lightning flashes and the night was from time to time bright as a day. Needless to say that the thunder accompanied the lightning and built uninterrupted rumble background.

He was nervously pacing all over the living room, gazing through each window that he passed, hearing to the steady, heavy rhythm of thick raindrops, hammering against the glass. Ever since he literally chased Cameron out of the house, he felt uneasy. True, she was a terminator and a little bit of rain wouldn't do her any harm. But being out there in such terrible weather was something that made him worry. _Strange indeed! First I literally throw her out of the house and when she's out, I begin to worry that something might happen to her._

Ever since the entrance door slammed behind her, he felt like being a total jerk. Seeing the mighty storm, rolling over the L.A., he felt even worse. His eyes swept over the clock, just to see that she'd been out for more than two hours now. Nothing unusual, actually. But he knew that she preferred to stay indoors in such heavy rain. He suddenly had to grin at the thought. _She sometimes acts much more human that we all give her credit for. I don't see why a machine would mind standing in the rain and yet she does._ He remembered how surprised he was, as he once noticed her obvious discomfort after returning home from her round, completely soaked as the sudden downpour caught her.

The storm was getting even stronger and his relentlessness grew with its force. _She should be back by now! Did she really resent me so much for my words? Yes, I absolutely crossed the line, but she's not an angel either. She lies to me, she deceives me…_ He stopped at the window again and contemplated a chance to go out in search of his wayward protector. But just one look through the windows told him that he would only be wandering around without any hope to find her. Especially since he believed that she didn't want to be found. The trees, bent in the gusts of wind, the raindrops, almost as thick as nuts, falling, or better even: flying almost horizontally, told him that he'd better wait inside for the storm to calm down. In the now almost constant flashing of lightning he could also spot some not so small twigs, obviously torn from the trees, flying around. _Good that they don't crash against the window. Otherwise we'd have quite a nice heap of glass shards in here. Not to mention the soaked floor._

Seeing the almost impossible weather, almost impassable roads around the house, really caused him to worry for his protector. Cameron was out there, alone in this fury of the nature's most powerful weapons and she was dressed, as far as he could remember, only in her skin tight jeans, a long sleeved sweater and a thin jeans jacket, all of it of course accompanied by her standard combat boots. _Does she know that she looks impossibly cute in those boots, wearing them to any attire?_ Not exactly the appropriate type of clothing for such weather. _Hell, I hope she found some shelter and isn't roaming around like a lost puppy in this downpour._

After another half an hour, he finally sat down on the couch, noticing that the storm was drifting away. He felt just a little bit relieved, but considering the fact that Cameron still wasn't back didn't allow him to relax.

"It seems like the worst is over." His mother's voice from the kitchen door almost made him jump in surprise.

He turned to look at her, and saw her leaning against the door frame and looking at him in silent amusement. "Don't do that, mom! I had no idea you were there. I thought you were in your room." He sighed and panted slightly.

Sarah smirked at him: "What? Can't I even come down in my own kitchen without scaring my heroic son?" She then scanned the room: "Where's tin miss?"

John shook his head: "She went on patrol before the storm and didn't come back yet." He sighed. "It's not pleasant to be out there in such miserable weather."

"She's a terminator, she'll be fine," Sarah smirked. She noticed her son's distraction and her mind quickly began to put together all the little things that she noticed before, but at the time dismissed them as unbelievable, impossible or simply misunderstood. She noticed that her son, however impossible it might have been, cared for the cyborg girl much more than he was ready to admit to himself or anyone else. He was generally still treating her poorly, but when he thought no one could see him, his eyes and face betrayed his true feelings. And now … now he wasn't even trying to hide his concern.

"Yeah, I know. But still … I don't think she ever stayed out in such weather." John mumbled more to himself than to answer his mother.

Suddenly, Sarah believed what she desperately didn't want to believe. But there was more to this situation: "Did you two have a fight?"

John's head jerked into her direction and he looked at her with guilty eyes: "Well, sort of." He closed his mouth.

However, Sarah wasn't ready to allow him getting away so easy, so she insisted: "Is she malfunctioning again?"

John's eyes widened in astonishment: "Why would you think that? No, I …" He stuttered for a second: "I simply said some things I shouldn't have said."

_Got you!_ Sarah was satisfied and horrified at the same time. She now knew that her son caused that the tin miss ran out into the storm and it made her feel uneasy, because he blamed himself for it. "She's a big terminator, John! She doesn't have emotions, she doesn't care for words. Whatever you might have said … she'll get over it."

John cut her off, angrier than he wanted: "Wrong mom! She cares. She cares and I insulted her." _What the heck? I blame her for everything that went wrong in the last months and yet her I am, protecting her from my own mom? Am I really that dense that I can't see for myself that Cameron is just trying to protect me at all costs? That she definitely cares for me?_

Seeing his mother's astonished expression, the future savior of the human race suddenly felt like he'd been cornered so he waved his hand dismissively: "Whatever." Then he stepped to the window and looked outside. The storm was moving away in the distance and only light rain still reminded that there had been a very foul weather here just minutes ago. Leaves, twigs and dirt, carried hither by the wind from god knows which dumpsters, lay scattered across the road where the wind and the rain dropped everything. He waited for his mother's answer, but after it didn't come, he turned to her: "It stopped. I'll go out to see if I can find her."

Without giving Sarah the chance to protest, he quickly stepped to the entrance door and opened it wide. He waited for few seconds, allowing his eyes to adapt to darkness, assessing the situation outside and as he saw that the wind died too, he switched on the light at the door. He quickly scanned the driveway and suddenly felt like his heart stopped for a second. There was a heap of … something … in the middle of the driveway, not more than 15 feet away from the door. And that heap was dressed in blue denim.

_No! No, please, no!_ He suddenly panicked as he realized that that unmoving heap was Cameron, lying there like dead. It took him only few hasty steps to reach her and he fell to his knees at her side. She was crumpled in an almost fetal position, lying on her right side facing away from him. He carefully reached to touch her left shoulder with intention to gently nudge her, but his hand stopped in the midair. The memories of her lying in the puddle of water on the church floor and him, trying to butcher her scalp to take her chip out came back. _Is she perhaps really malfunctioning? Is it safe to touch her?_ For a second he hesitated, but then he grabbed her shoulder and shook her. "Cameron?"

No answer. No movement. No reaction at all. His heart began beating much faster and fear that she might be dead flooded his mind. _She should reboot in 120 seconds. Wait as long, you moron!_ He had to remind himself, but knew nevertheless that it was probably just a false hope. She was almost certainly lying here for much longer than two minutes and if she hadn't rebooted by now, then something was very wrong. Very, very wrong! He sat back on his heels and waited. He didn't even notice Sarah, who exited the house too and stepped beside him.

"Is something wrong with her?" She asked quietly, seeing the distress her son was in.

John didn't even raise his head, just shook it: "I have no idea. I'll wait for two minutes and see what happens then."

"John! You should be careful. Remember what happened the last time she rebooted." Sarah warned him in fear that he might become over confident and do something stupid. _Like he wouldn't be doing stupid things all the time!_

"Yes, mom. I know everything. I am careful." His annoyance could evidently be heard in his voice.

He waited with hands, folded in his lap to prevent his mother from seeing them shaking in fear, sitting on his heels and counted the seconds in his mind. After he passed the two minutes marker, he knew with certainty that something wasn't right. Something was definitely not right. He reached for her and turned her on her back. As soon as she rolled over, he gasped in shock and heard the same voice coming from above, emanating from his mother's mouth. The vision of his protector shook him and left him completely stunned. The right side of her face was burnt beyond recognition and clothes on her upper torso had been burnt away, revealing a deep burn, reaching from her neck down to her breasts. The hair on the right side of her head melted away as well as skin, covering her chip port, which was open. From the previous times as he pulled her chip, he remembered the blue light in her port and the absence of it woke only the worse expectations in him. His hands began to tremble vigorously and he gasped for air in shock. "No! Please, let her be OK! I can't lose her! Please!" He wasn't aware that he was talking aloud.

Sarah was equally shocked and didn't even register John's shaking voice. She stared at the creature, who used to be a beautiful teenage looking cyborg girl, but who now resembled a zombie rather that anything else.

After few seconds John managed to overcome the initial shock and began to search around the body for the missing port cap. If he was to do anything to help her, he first had to find that. With still trembling hands he swept across the floor and hoped to find it. Just few seconds later he gulped and exhaled in relief, as his fingers came across the metal cap. He didn't want to think how it could be torn away from her port. That was something he would be debating later. Now his task was to carry her back into the house and revive her. He carefully picked up the cap and stuffed it in his pocket. He got up from his knees, reached with one arm under Cameron's knees and with the other under her armpits. He remembered from before that she was heavier than a human girl of her built would be, but that didn't matter at the moment.

He strained and lifted the lifeless body up, leaned her head against his shoulder and turned towards the door. As he was turning he saw Sarah's stunned look. "What? Is something wrong? I can't possibly leave her here." His words were harsh and he wasn't ready to listen to any nonsense at this moment.

Sarah shook her head in silence. She knew very well that they had to bring Cameron back in the house. But she didn't have to like the way John was handling her lifeless body. He was way too gentle and worried for her taste. Like he would be carrying his lover. _No! That's not possible! He's just worried for his protector and maybe a friend. There can't be anything more!_ She tried to persuade herself and even succeeded in her efforts, at least for the time being. She followed John, who was already at the door and after she stepped over the threshold, she quickly checked if anyone saw what just happened. After seeing that no one was out there, she sighed relieved, closed and locked the door.

Meanwhile John already laid Cameron on the couch and as he straightened up he gasped in shock again. His eyes widened uncontrollable. Now, in the well lit room, he could see actual damage to her face and body. It seemed that half of her skin simply vanished, simply melted away and he suddenly began to ask himself if it would heal at all. Sure, she'd been injured before, but this … this was beyond anything she had to deal with before. He looked into his mother's eyes with a hint of despair in his face: "She must have been hit by the lightning. I don't know if she …" He trailed of, not wanting to express his worst fear. Fear that Cameron might never be Cameron again. In this moment he finally admitted to himself that he had been harboring feelings for her for a long time. _I promise to treat you right, the way you deserve to be treated. Just come back to me, Cameron, please!_

Then he concentrated on the task at hands. "Could you bring me pliers, please? And a screwdriver." He turned to his mother. She just nodded and went into the kitchen to fetch the required items. While waiting for her to return, John pulled out the port cap from his pocket and inspected it. He still couldn't understand how a cap that was screwed to the port could come off. He took a good look at it and noticed that the screw was broken. _It must have been torn by the lightning._ Then he turned to Cameron's body, swallowed hard again as he saw her heavy injuries and hesitantly reached for her chip port. He had to overwhelm the anguish as he felt her burned skin under his hands and concentrated on the port. He took a good look at it and saw that the rest of the broken screw still sat in its socket. He scratched his forehead in contemplation how he could solve this problem.

"Here you are, John." Sarah just entered the room again and laid the screwdriver and the pliers on the table. She looked at her son, who was still inspecting Cameron's open chip port. "Will you be able to fix her?"

John straightened and looked at his mother thoughtfully: "I don't know. The screw which fixes the cap is broken. I think I can replace it, I just don't know how to get the broken piece out of the socket." He glanced at Cameron's port again and suddenly his head jerked up: "I could try drilling a small hole into the rest of the broken screw, then insert a counter clockwise smaller screw and screw it out." He jumped to his feet and ran for the door.

Sarah looked after him in surprise. _What's he up to now?_ Then she turned and looked at the cyborg, lying unmoving on the couch for a long time in silence. After a minute, she sighed: "You just had to go out in that weather, right? And now my son feels obliged to help you." She shook her head. "Maybe we should simply burn you and solve quite a few of our problems."

"Burning her is not an option! It wouldn't solve any of our problems it would make them much bigger!" John's voice was more than a little pissed off and he looked at his mother angrily. He was holding a small tool box in his hands and glaring daggers at his mother, who visibly flinched upon hearing her son's angry voice. She wasn't expecting him to return so soon.

After throwing another withering look towards his mother, John stepped to Cameron. "Please, let me do what I have to do." He didn't turn to face his mother, but he could hear her going away and letting him do what he had to do.

He hesitated for a second, his eyes lingering on the inert form of his cyborg protector. _I can't lose you Cameron! I have to bring you back!_ He took few deep breaths and slowly reached for the tool box, he just brought from the shed. After few seconds he pulled out the correct tool and set on getting the remains of the broken screw out of the socket. It was a delicate work, especially considering the fact that he was scared to death to damage her chip_. If I could only take it out! Damn you Skynet! Did you have to make the port so damn complicated?_ For few minutes he worked in silence, taking care not to make any hasty movements, even holding his breath when he started a delicate phase of his efforts. All the time he tried to push his fears away. Fears, that he wouldn't be able to bring her back. Fears, that the open port and almost exposed chip could have gotten damaged in the rain. Fears, that she wouldn't heal. Fears, that she would go all nuts on him again. But strangely, the thought that she might go bad again was the least disturbing of them all; what he feared the most was that he wouldn't be able to bring her back.

He finally managed to pull out the remains of the screw and looked at it thoroughly with a deep sigh of relief. He reached into the box again and pulled out a new screw, exactly the same dimensions as the broken one. For the first time since he found Cameron on the driveway, he smiled. _At least I have solved this problem!_ But then his eyes fell on her head again and smile vanished from his lips. The most important work was still waiting to be done.

Carefully, he grabbed her chip with the pliers and turned it counter clockwise. With utmost care, he slowly pulled it out of the socket and with trembling hand, put it on a tissue on the table. He suddenly realized that he was holding Cameron in his hand. The small chip he was gazing upon was the essence, the very personality that was Cameron Phillips. Another sigh left his lips after the chip was safely lying on a clean cloth. He now finally picked it up with his hand and thoroughly inspected it. He couldn't find any physical damage apart from the one he already knew to be there since the car bomb explosion. Taking a soft brush from the box, he began to carefully clean it. He didn't want to haste anything, so he took his time with cleaning and after about 15 minutes and few changes of cleansing tools, he was finally satisfied.

Now he picked up a small flashlight and checked the port itself for any possible damage, moisture or dirt. Something beside the port, that he didn't notice before caught his attention. A small object, located just at the port, which, as he could remember wasn't there the last time he saw her port. In a sudden recognition his eyes widened uncontrollably. _Damn! It's the explosive she planted there to kill her should she go bad again. _He leaned back and subconsciously reached under his shirt to take the detonator in his hand. For a second his palm enveloped the watch housing. Without warning, his head jerked aside. _No! I can't allow it! I won't allow it!_

He reached for the explosive and probed how it was fixed to her skull. After seeing that it was only glued, he carefully tore it away and removed any remains of it from the skull. He straightened again and with slightly inclined head admired his work. _That's right now! I cannot allow you to sacrifice yourself! Not for me, not for anyone! _He suspected that she might not be exactly satisfied with what he just did, but shrugged at the thought. _I'll deal with it if it comes up._

Few minutes later, after he thoroughly inspected the port itself, he was satisfied that everything was obviously OK. For a second he lifted his head and looked towards the kitchen door to see his mother, still leaning on the doorframe, looking at him worriedly. He gave her a small, pained smile and nodded. She just nodded back without saying anything. She knew better than to disturb him now.

His look returned to the chip and with a ragged breath, he picked it up with pliers and carefully inserted it in the port and turned it clockwise. Then he screwed on the covering cap and waited. He leaned back and gazed intently at Cameron's distorted face. _Oh god, how terrible she got hurt. And it's all because of me; all because I've been such an idiot._

He waited impatiently, holding his breath and hoped that everything would be all right. The seconds seemed like an eternity to him and he felt how his relentlessness grew with each passed second.

He almost lost track of time as he saw a slight twitch of her head and in next second he could hear the soft whirring sound, announcing that she was coming back online. The last few second before she opened her eyes were the longest ones in his life. Then her head jerked up and her eyes, one intact and one heavily burnt, opened abruptly. She needed few seconds before refocusing and her eyes rested on his face. In that very moment he realized that he was too close to her, should anything be wrong. But he dismissed the thought. She wouldn't hurt him!

"John?" Her quiet voice was the most beautiful music for John's ears.

"Yeah, Cameron? Are you OK?" He smiled at her, but a small twinge of fear still remained.

Cameron remained silent for a long second and answered: "I'm not 100%. My organic sheath had been damaged." Her hand jerked up to her face and missing hair. After she felt what was there, she suddenly looked horrified. "What … what happened?"

John was now beaming at her. She was his Cameron, she was OK and she would heal. He launched herself at her and enveloped her in a hug without thinking. The hug lasted for few seconds only and she didn't return it. After he finally realized that he was hugging her … really hugging her … he let go of her awkwardly and looked into her completely stunned face. Her eyes were bigger than he'd ever seen them before and he coughed while looking down: "I'm sorry Cameron. I shouldn't have done it." But his heart was saying something differently.

Then he sighed and looked into her face again: "I don't know what happened. I found you lying on a driveway seemingly dead. I guess that you've got hit by the lightning." His eyes lingered on her face and worry crept into his voice: "Will those terrible burns heal?"

Cameron's face now returned back to normal and she nodded: "Yes. I estimate that I'll be back to normal in three days, four hours and twenty minutes."

John grinned at her: "Good!" Then he got serious again: "You really scared the hell out of me. Don't ever do anything like that again."

"Like what?" Cameron tilted her head in that annoyingly cute gesture of hers.

Just few hours ago, John's face would darken at the sight, but now he grinned again and admitted to himself that he liked it. "Like running out in the storm."

Cameron hung her head, just like an ashamed girl would do, but only a second later she looked into his eyes resolutely again: "But I have to check the perimeter."

John shook his head in dismay: "Not when the perfect storm is above us."

"Are you all fixed, tin miss?" They both forget about Sarah, who now left her position at the doorframe and joined them.

Cameron looked at John's mother and answered: "Not completely. My sheath will have to heal."

"I see that. I meant if you're … you know … you?" Sarah was eyeing her suspiciously.

Cameron fixed her with her undamaged eye and it was obvious that she didn't understand the question: "Of course. I always am me."

John snorted, relieved, that she was almost back to normal: "She meant if there's anything wrong with your programming."

Cameron paused for a second and then looked at John: "My programming is intact." Then she gave him a ghost of a smile: "Thank you for explaining."

Sarah sighed and rolled her eyes: "I'm glad that you're OK." She turned to John: "I see that you have everything under control. I'm going to bed now." She turned and left them.

John was still looking at Cameron and his heart ached at seeing her injuries. Almost subconsciously he reached for the damaged half of her face and his hand remained hanging in the air as Cameron slightly flinched before he could touch her.

He looked at her in surprise, not understanding why she flinched. He saw how she almost looked ashamed: "Is something wrong Cameron?"

"I don't want you to see me like this." Cameron almost whispered without looking at him.

John was astonished. She never before displayed such behavior. It was something he would never expect from her. He bowed to look at her face from down under and smiled at her. Her good eye finally looked at him. "I don't care how you look, Cameron. I'm just happy that you're as far OK and that nothing worse happened to you." He paused and straightened up. He noticed that Cameron's head finally followed him. "I was worried to death as I saw you lying there. I thought I lost you."

Cameron was looking at him astonished: "But … you hate me? You said you don't want to look at me again."

Now it was John's turn to look at the floor and blush. She didn't accuse him of being such an ass, she just stated the facts. And that hurt him more than it would hurt, should she yell at him or give him a cold shoulder. But she just repeated his statement with her childlike naivety. He looked at her disfigured face again and saw how she looked at him with completely shocked face. He swallowed hard: "I said many things that I didn't really mean before. I'm so sorry for saying such things to you Cameron. You didn't deserve to be the target of my frustration."

Cameron fixed him with her good eye and searched his face. She couldn't see anything else but true remorse and relieve.

Her gaze caused John to blush even more intensive. But then he remembered how often she lied to him and he felt that it was perhaps the moment to come clear with that too: "But you shouldn't lie to me anymore. I know …" He sighed and stopped her with raised hand, for he saw how she already opened her mouth to speak. "You only lie when the mission requires." He saw her nodding. "But that still doesn't make it right. You see, Cameron, trust is something very important, perhaps most important issue in a relationship between two persons. No matter the nature of their relationship." He sighed and put his hand over Cameron's hands, which were lying neatly folded in her lap. "I want to trust you Cameron, I really do. But you'll have to stop lying to me. If there's really something that you cannot tell me, then rather say that you can't tell me. Just … don't lie to me anymore, OK?"

TBC


	3. Cameron

_This chapter basically handles with the same time span as the previous one, just this time seen from Cameron's perspective. I tried my best to put myself in her mind and describe how she saw and interpreted what happened. I hope to have written at least half way decent introspective part. It is more or less narrative with very little dialog. But … to come clear with your feelings and emotions, you have to come clear with yourself and there's no better therapist than yourself._

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**Chapter 3 – Cameron**

After running out of the house with tears in her eyes, Cameron tried to logically explain and understand her emotional state. Never before had she felt such powerful emotions as just few minutes ago. She knew that she was capable of experiencing emotions in limited extent, but this now … It was something new and it required almost all of her processing power in her efforts to finally understand what was going on with her.

John's words he wouldn't want to see her were illogical. How could she protect him if he didn't want to see her? Sure, there was a possibility to protect him from afar, but that would be very weak protection and she wouldn't want to satisfy herself with anything less than perfection. And why was he trying to hang out with some girl from the school again? Didn't he learn anything from the Riley episode?

These and many other questions occupied a good deal of her processes and she suddenly realized that her attention to her surroundings and possible threats was severely diminished due to her attempt to solve her personal problems. She tried to concentrate on the task at hand … patrolling the neighborhood, but after only few minutes she began to linger on the same questions again.

Of course she noticed how John distanced himself from her after his birthday. His birthday … she always felt bad when she remembered that terrible episode, the worst day of her existence, the day when she tried to kill John. She also remembered saying that he couldn't be trusted anymore and the look of disappointment and hurt in his eyes after he found out she didn't thought him trustworthy anymore. She couldn't understand his hurting then and she just began to understand it now. After the explosion her emotional limiters were slowly beginning to fail and she gradually experienced everything much more genuinely, much deeper. Lately she even didn't have to use her infiltrator routines to feel things, she just felt them. And that was the reason she could now begin to understand why John didn't accept well her statement about not trusting him anymore. He risked his life to bring her back and she repaid him with distrust, while she should be thankful for still being around. She knew without any doubt that if it wasn't for John, she'd been burned in that car.

She sighed and looked up at the heavily overcast sky. Thick dark clouds were rapidly gathering over the city and first bolts of lightning began to tear the dark skies. Low rumble of thunder started to build the background of the darkness and she could feel first raindrops falling from the clouds. _It's going to be a heavy storm._ She suddenly stopped in recognition of similarity of her mental state and the weather that threatened to change the night into a day.

Her thoughts returned to John. Now she knew that her distrust hurt him more than he was ready to admit and absolutely more than she could ever believe. It still occurred to her as absolutely logical that he shouldn't risk his life to bring her back and that it was the undeniable reason for not trusting him blindly anymore. But she understood that humans often did stupid things. And John was just a human. He would become a great leader one day, but right now he was still just a teenager, faced with the heaviest burden someone could imagine to take upon their shoulders. He cared for her so much that he was ready to risk everything to save her and she dismissed it as a mistake. Maybe she should apologize to him and tell him that she now understood why he did it? Would he understand it and not regard it as just another lie, one of many she told him in the past? Yes, lies were also one of the problems, perhaps the most important. She lied to him, also about important things and she could see now that it absolutely distanced him from her.

But, on the other hand, his behavior just few minutes ago showed her clearly that he probably wouldn't accept any apologies from her. At least not right now. He said he wouldn't want to see her anymore. As she remembered his harsh words she felt something strange, like a giant snake would wound itself tightly around her throat and a strange pain coursed through her systems. _What is happening with me? Am I malfunctioning again? Am I going to go bad again?_

She made a quick check of her systems and found nothing out of expected limits, except her emotional limiters, of course. But that was something she already knew and was already working on the solution. At the moment it didn't represent a problem, but could really become one, should the emotions take over her logic in the most inappropriate situation.

And yet, no matter the facts, she felt bad and thinking of how badly John treated her in the past months only strengthened the feeling. She asked herself how the humans coped with such strange, bad feelings. It made her sluggish, ineffective and she wouldn't want to fight a terminator in such state. Maybe feeling emotions wasn't as fine as humans thought? Was it perhaps overrated? It made them almost defective. And yet … somehow she wouldn't want to go back to how she was before she began experiencing emotions, before she began to understand what she felt.

The rain was falling heavier with each passing second and she soon found herself in a real downpour, which soaked her from head to toe in a matter of few seconds. Yet she continued to stoically make her perimeter check. A little rain couldn't harm her, although she felt uncomfortable being soaked wet. But the now almost constant bolts of lightning, shooting from the clouds and almost uninterrupted thunder … that was something she didn't like. And the storm was definitely closing in on her location. She knew that she could get hit by a lightning. Her endoskeleton was such a concentration of metal on one place that it literally invited a lightning, so she decided to end her round and go back into the house. She could still finish her perimeter check later, after the storm calmed down.

While walking towards the house, she continued to analyze her relationship with John and she came to the conclusion that John obviously wanted her to be more human. But how could she become more human? She was a terminator, a machine! She could do it like she did it way back in New Mexico as they met … she could activate her infiltrator profile and maintain it in effect for indefinite time. But that would significantly diminish her efficiency and consequentially put John in possible danger. Besides … it wouldn't be real. Her infiltrator profile was the best Skynet ever made but it was still just a program. She wouldn't be free to make her own choices; she would have to follow the programming code. And that was something she wasn't very keen to experience again. After her emotions began to grow stronger she suddenly began to realize how it was to be human and she somehow liked it. Sure, there were downsides, such as this mix of emotions she experienced at the moment, but in general it was pleasurable to experience things like humans did.

Without even noticing it, her lips curved up in a small smile as she remembered how nice John treated her in rare moments as she allowed herself to be driven mostly by her emotions, feelings and experiences instead of her programming. Like when he tried to fix her arm. She looked at her left palm, flexed the fingers and realized that although he did his best, he didn't fix it. Twitching appeared every now and then over the days, following the repair works and it continued ever since, especially when she found herself in some emotionally complicated situation. She remembered his crestfallen face as she handed him the detonator for the explosive, still planted in her skull. His eyes told her that he really didn't want to believe that she was ready to sacrifice her life, to give him the power to decide upon her death, should it become necessary. Such short moments proved her that John maybe still cared for her. Maybe she really should try to rely more on her human side? Would John care for her more if she'd act more human-like? Would he believe her that she wasn't just making use of her infiltrator skills?

After analyzing everything thoroughly during her round, she finally came to the conclusion that she'd try to act more human, that she'd try to be more like John wanted her. She would depend more on her feelings, experiences and learned social skills and less on her preprogrammed responses to specific situations. The suggestions on her HUD were generally acceptable, but sometimes she really missed the point by following them. After reaching the decision, she suddenly felt better and somehow relieved of a heavy burden. Maybe she was still able to fix things between them.

The illuminated windows of the living room of their house shimmered through the heavy rain as she stepped on the driveway and she was suddenly feeling self confident again. She had a new mission – making things between John and her good again. Mission that would be as important as the one she had until the car explosion – protecting John. Now it was her choice and this new mission was her choice too. She suddenly realized that after the bomb, she actually had no programmed mission at all; everything she did was based upon her decisions, upon her preferences. Until now she believed that her actions were still a part of her programming, but now, after analyzing everything thoroughly, she knew better: she was slowly, but inevitably evolving into a free machine, not limited with her programming any more. She was getting freer to make her own decisions, to adapt her programming to her desires.

She was in the middle of the driveway when a lightning struck her. In a blinding flash of a light, her fears turned into a more than real nightmare. She felt an incredible powerful surge of electricity, which was forcing her systems into shutdown and sent her on her knees like a puppet. Her whole body jolted vigorously, she could smell the burnt skin and hair and she realized that she must have been hit hard. Her HUD displayed an array of warnings and flashed in red. She knew that in a matter of milliseconds she would shut down and she didn't know if she'd reboot at all. The message on her HUD told her that the port of her chip was open and realized that the lightning must have blown off the cap of the port. In such heavy rain it could mean that she might be gone forever. Her chip definitely wasn't designed to operate under water and if the water would penetrate her port … As her body collapsed on the floor she was able to form just one coherent thought. How will John react to this? Will he miss her if she wouldn't reboot? A new feeling flooded her mind but this time she recognized it: she was sad that she would probably never see John again; sad, that she wouldn't be able to apologize to him, to tell him that she understood him.

Only half a second after the lightning hit the seemingly fragile and vulnerable girl on the driveway to the Connor residence, burning half of her face and upper torso away, the body was just a crumpled heap in the middle of the driveway. And as if the storm would regret the outcome of its fury, it began to calm down and with each passed second there were less bolts of lightning and the rain gradually stopped falling. But the damage had been done and the lone body of Cameron Phillips lying unmoving in front of the door to the Connor residence represented the result of the storm's wrath.

XXXXXXXXXX

**REBOOT COMPLETE**

As she came back online, it took her few seconds longer than normally to refocus her eyes. Something was obviously wrong with her right eye, for her vision on it was down to 20% of normal. The fogginess, which normally never occurred to her after the reboot, finally faded away and she saw John's face only inches from hers. But something was terribly off … her HUD was overflowed with error warnings and the right side of her face and chest felt strange … damaged.

"John?" She asked almost timidly. She had to make sure that everything was all right. She had to know for sure that she didn't go bad.

"Yeah Cameron? Are you OK?" Did she really hear care, relieve and happiness in his voice? But he asked her a question and she should answer correctly so she first ran a quick scan of the errors, appearing on her HUD before answering.

"I'm not 100%. My organic sheath had been damaged." She lifted her hand to touch the most damaged part of her skin on her right cheek. Until she was able to see herself in the mirror, a simple touch would have to suffice. She knew that the lightning damaged her, but she didn't know how bad it was. After she touched the charcoaled skin and felt that her hair was missing, she suddenly felt horrified. "What … what happened?" _I'm a monster! Now John definitely won't want to talk to me._

But John's reaction figuratively swept her off her feet. Instead of retreating in disgust, he hugged her fiercely and pressed her to himself. Cameron was so shocked that she had to lock her arms not to make any dangerous movements. Instead of returning the hug, she simply stared into nothingness wide-eyed and tried to understand what was happening. Before she could process this completely unexpected situation, John already let her out of his embrace and coughed as if ashamed. Cameron suddenly felt the urge to grab him and press his body back to hers, just like he did only moments ago. While in his embrace, she again felt something she never experienced before. She felt warm, satisfied and safe. How could a simple hug make her feel so? In that moment she realized how wrong she was when she told John she can't be happy. Now she knew she could be happy. She had just experienced happiness in John's embrace.

She stared at John's face and after he explained to her how he found her outside, memories of what happened came flooding back. _Maybe my reboot wasn't complete? How is it possible that I don't remember such things immediately after the reboot?_ But she couldn't linger on this issue further, as John asked her about the burns. She quickly assessed her HUD and it came up with the reply how long it would take for her skin and hair to regenerate completely. _Three days, four hours and twenty minutes? Not too bad. But still. That's three days, four hours and twenty minutes too long of being a monster. Will John accept her even in such damaged state?_ She told him what her systems predicted and was again surprised to see him grin at her. _Maybe he likes me again? Even though I'm a monster?_

Then he reprimanded her for going out in the storm and she tried, halfheartedly, to explain to him that she couldn't simply leave out her check because of the weather. She could see in his eyes that he really meant what he said, that he was really worried for her. Her logic dictated her to explain to him that his safety was, is and will always be the most important thing in the world, but she didn't insist on it. It was too nice to feel valued by John. It was too good to see the concern for her, written in his eyes. He was looking at her exactly the way she could only dream about: like she would be someone important, like she would be his friend.

Then Sarah came in and tried to find out if she was all right. Of course she was! She was even more than all right! She was happy! While talking to her, she noticed an anomaly in her programming and hesitated for a second to answer the question about her programming, which she actually didn't understand and John had to explain it to her. Luckily, her hesitation was so short that neither John nor Sarah noticed it. She pondered the decision if she should tell them that something changed in her programming, but realized immediately that it wasn't a malevolent change, so she told them that her programming was still intact. But even while answering, she realized what changed. Her emotions limiters which were slowly degrading since the car bomb explosion were now completely gone. No firewalls, no limits, no slavery to her programming. She was free to experience the full range of her emotions and for a nanosecond it even frightened her. How will she be able to cope with it? How will it affect her effectiveness as John's protector? But then she remembered her decision to try acting more human and suddenly felt relieved. Without any limits to her emotions she would have no need to depend on her infiltration protocol, she could allow her emotions to guide her and help her behave like humans.

She finished this analyze in a split second and then realized that John finally explained something to her again. It's been so long since he did it that she again felt warm inside. She liked his explanations so much. They might not always be the most correct ones, but they were almost always helpful and easy to understand. But most of all; they showed her that he valued her and was ready to help her in her personal growth. For all her vast intelligence and knowledge, Cameron was socially just a small child with no experiences and understanding of social dynamics at all and John's explanations helped her to blend in better, to understand the complexity of human interrelations more than her programming originally allowed her.

After Sarah left them to go to her room Cameron checked her internal clock and was again a little astonished that she had been off-line for more than two hours … _Another strange thing. Why didn't I check the clock immediately after rebooting? I am starting to behave illogical and make stupid mistakes. Just like John _… John again did something unexpected. He tried to put his hand on her damaged side of the face. Although she was now sure that he didn't feel disgusted by her appearance, she almost involuntarily flinched. She actually didn't want him to see her like this. For a terminator, she was quite vain. Her physical appearance has always been important to her but lately it was becoming even more important to her. Ever since that dreadful day she noticed how she always tried to look the best, how she spent more time in front of a full body mirror in her room. But she didn't know why her appearance was becoming so important to her. Until now. She always knew that her physical appearance was appealing to human males, but until recently she didn't thought anything more of it and also didn't understand why it would be important at all. Just lately … lately, she noticed that she liked it very much when John reacted positively to her and always tried to find a way to boost his positive reactions by using her feminine weapons.

Therefore she didn't want him to remember her in such a bad shape but his reaction stunned her again. He bowed to position his face under her downcast face and looked at her goofily. She felt that warmth again and after he explained to her how worried he was, she finally believed him that her momentarily disfigurement really didn't bother him.

But then she remembered the yelling that caused her to run out of the house. "But … you hate me? You said you don't want to see me at the moment."

His reaction was strange. He apologized for being rude to her. But then he changed the subject and began to discuss something that obviously bothered him heavily. He asked her to stop lying to him. Cameron was feeling like being cornered. On one side there were future John's orders, which stated quite clearly what she should not reveal to this teenage John, at least not yet; on the other side she saw pain, but also affection in the eyes of this young John Connor and she suddenly felt guilty for ever lying to him. This John risked his life for her; this John brought her back from the verge of oblivion; this John, even when it looked like he'd resent her, always protected her from Sarah and Derek. This John deserved to be trusted and not to be lied to. Despite her emotional infancy, she knew that she would have to work hard on gaining his trust again and to stop lying to him would be the first, perhaps even the most important step in that direction.

She would have to find a balance between her orders and her desires. Yes, now she knew that it was her desire to be honest to this John, to have a good relationship with him; she wanted him to trust her. And John's offer she should simply tell him that her orders forbade her to tell him something instead of making a lie was a good possibility.

As John laid his hand on hers, she felt a surge of warmth spreading in her and she said meekly while looking at his serious face: "I understand John. You know that I have my orders and that I can't simply ignore them. But I will always try to explain to you why I can't tell you something. I will not lie to you anymore." She tried to show him her remorse for lying to him before and to show him that she really meant what she said. John pulled his hand back and she again felt the urge to grab it and put it back where it was just a second ago … on her hands.

John was looking at her face, fixing her good eye with his raptor like gaze for few long seconds. He tried to see behind the golden flecked brown irises and tried to read the expression on the good side of her face. He knew that she was built as the best infiltrator that Skynet ever created, but he believed to see the truth in these features. He nodded once and repeated a question that already once changed his life forever: "Promise?" He subconsciously stretched his hand towards her like he did when he helped her get out of the car, covered in thermite.

Cameron gazed back at him, not revealing her inner turmoil. After he asked her only one word, she immediately recognized it and remembered the circumstances that accompanied it the first time she had been asked it. In an instant she remembered her misjudgment of John's actions then and swore to herself she wouldn't make the same mistake again. So she smiled at him slightly, even though she knew that with half of her face missing it looked awkward and lifted her hand to grasp his, like she did so many months ago, stepping out of the wrecked car: "Promise!"

TBC


	4. Back To Normal?

_Here's the last chapter. It's short, narrative, with the aim to build the bridge between the first three chapters and "Wintertale". Hopefully you'll like it nevertheless._

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**Chapter 4 – Back to Normal?**

One week later …

It's been basically an uneventful week since the terrible storm in which Cameron almost perished. Well, at least there have been no new leads discovered, no news about possible TDE events, no assaults that could be regarded as the work of a terminator. However, despite lacking the usual frenzied activities, it has been an interesting week for John as well as for Cameron. John was very carefully watching Cameron and was glad to see that her assumptions about the time she'd need to heal completely were correct. Four days after the storm, she healed completely and even her hair was back to normal. But there was something that John didn't expect and it surprised him a lot: her behavior changed … he noticed subtle and sometimes also not so subtle changes in it. She was acting more human than before. He often caught her staring at him with some inexplicable gleam in her eyes. Which, by the way, were also back to normal but John could have sworn that the golden flecks in her brown irises got even more visible and that they somehow appeared deeper and even more mysterious than they were before the storm. Even her face, normally so stoic and expressionless, was beginning to show how she felt. _She's acting just like I always wanted her to. I can finally see behind her scary robot façade and see the real Cameron._

Yes, John finally accepted the fact that Cameron was quite obviously feeling things, experiencing emotions, as the inevitable truth. After the night in which she almost left him, and which still caused him nightmares, he suddenly realized how valuable each minute that he could spend with her was. He finally admitted quite clearly that she was someone with whom he could stick together and with whom he could be himself. When he was with her, he didn't have to pretend to be John Baum, he could be John Connor. Slowly, they began to build a normal relationship. He started to teach her things again, he explained to her what she didn't understand and he could see in her eyes clearly how much she appreciated it. And then there was her puppy dog look; every time he explained something to her, she gave him her best puppy dog look and he always melted at it. He caught himself longing to have another chance to explain something to her, just to receive that look again. He always admired her beauty, but now he was overwhelmed by her behavior too.

But he noticed one other thing too: when they were alone, she was acting human, but the moment his mother or uncle walked in the room, she instantly reverted back to her terminator self: blank face, flat voice, expressionless eyes. He was even beginning to feel proud that he was obviously the only one who could wake her human side. His frustration upon her being not enough human, slowly dissipated just like the morning fog on the sunny day. It was replaced with eagerness to spend as much time with her as possible and he didn't care if his mother sometimes looked suspiciously at them when they once again had their heads together over something, seemingly oblivious to their surroundings.

He did a lot of thinking after that frightening night, about Cameron, him, their relationship, her lies … Gradually he realized how much he felt for her. After few days he was finally ready to admit to himself that he needed her by his side. Not just as a protector, but also as a friend and, maybe, someday, even more. He also ended his actually not close at all, relationship with Joanne. OK, he was still friends with her, but he didn't even try to hang out with her anymore, or at least not more than anyone else. Sometimes he caught himself in comparing Joanne with Riley and came to the conclusion, that they both, even though they were completely different personalities, shared something in common: they were both his way out of reality, they both represented his hopeless try to lead a normal life. He should have realized that he'd never have a normal life right then as Riley died. But his rebellion against everything still didn't die completely at the time and for a while he receded into his blind stupor again. Luckily, the nature obviously decided that it was time to wake up and sent him a message in form of almost dying Cameron to finally open his eyes wide. He stepped back out of his close friendship with Joanne even without Cameron having to say anything at all, which she, to be honest, wouldn't do in any case, since she got treated so badly once she tried to reason with him. The overheated reaction that sent Cameron into the storm was still something John wasn't able to forgive himself. As strange as it may seem, Cameron was obviously able to forgive him, while he still beat himself over it occasionally. The results of his uncontrolled reaction were too grave to be forgotten so easy. He almost lost Cameron, he almost lost the one, who was slowly creeping into his heart as the most important person in the world. The feeling as he saw her lifeless body crumpled on the driveway was something that finally shook him back into reality and showed him, written in burning letters, that he should open his eyes and accept the inevitable reality that his life was empty without Cameron.

Cameron on her side was still trying to cope with her new unlimited emotional capacity which occasionally even frightened her. Sometimes she even asked herself if it was a curse or a gift. But when she looked into John's now constantly kind eyes, she immediately decided for the latter, no matter how difficult it was for her to accept her new sensations. She was experiencing things differently than before the storm. Her sensations were more profound, more detailed. Her understanding why humans valued emotions and feelings so much grew very fast. But she still didn't dare showing that she changed in front of Sarah or Derek. Somehow she believed it wouldn't be wise to do so. She remembered all too well how she woke in the wrecked car, covered with white dust that she recognized as thermite. So her human side remained hidden for everyone but John.

After she accepted the 'new' John, who obviously immensely changed for the better, she decided that she should probably tell him about the changes to her programming, which occurred in that night. She wanted to tell him that she was feeling everything; she wanted him to understand that she changed, although she suspected that he already realized these changes. At first she hesitated, not knowing how he would react to her revelation, but then, as she finally reached the decision, she never found the opportunity to tell it to him. Either Sarah was somewhere near, or Derek lingered around.

John was again explaining things to her … something she liked so very much. Gradually she noticed that she began reacting to John's presence differently. She didn't know why; was it because he acted so differently, because he was being really kind to her or was there something else involved? When he was close to her, she felt warm inside and her emotions began to go slightly haywire. It confused her a lot and yet she had absolutely no idea what it was and why it was the way it was. She even realized that she was eager to spend more time with him that she wanted to be as close to him as possible, that she even wanted to touch him. Every fleeting touch sent shivers down her spine and caused her to feel warm inside. Her behavior was changing quickly and she often caught herself staring at John, wishing he would turn to her, talk to her, touch her …

She spent quite few night hours watching TV in hope to see something that would help her understand what was happening to her. As she in the movies and TV shows first noticed similar behavior like she experienced she couldn't believe what it obviously was. But gradually she began to accept the fact that she was probably beginning to fall in love with John. It seemed to her as completely impossible. A terminator, falling in love! Something unheard of! And yet, all the signs were there. Being almost ashamed of it, she hid her feelings effectively from John and the others. Even if she accepted the fact that she loved him … it was in her eyes almost impossible that she, a machine, could be interesting for him, a human as someone whom he could love. Gradually she also realized that she actually wasn't lying to John when she was caught between the trucks. True, she was trying to deceive him, but she never understood why she used the exact words, why she said she loved him. Until now. Now she understood that she was probably already then falling for him, although in her own, machine way. Now, however, she saw the difference to before … she was acting much more human, she felt much more human even though the final result was almost the same.

Their little discussion about lying changed her way of experiencing the lying act completely. She carefully analyzed everything what happened between them before and came to the conclusion, that she wasn't as innocent as she believed to be and she was also to be blamed for their deteriorated relationship. She lied to him too often and she was the one to lose his trust. Seeing how different their relationship could be if she stayed honest, she consciously decided not to lie to him. Ever! It was a difficult decision for her, but as she saw how things between them developed since the night she almost lost her life, she made a solemn vow that she would always tell him the truth. It was too nice the way it was now and she really didn't want to go back to the way the things were before. She enjoyed his attention too much to allow it to slip through her fingers.

In spite of everything, for the last two days John seemed a little distracted and not paying her as much attention as only few days ago. Cameron sometimes caught him staring through the window into nothingness. Sometimes, when he thought she wouldn't notice, she nevertheless noticed him gazing at her thoughtfully with some strange softness in his eyes that always sent waves of warmth through her systems. Each time she gave him a questioning look, but didn't insist on getting an answer. She knew now that she should left him some personal space. It was a costly experience, but she learned from it. He would tell her what was going on if he found it necessary. She trusted him with that decision. She knew that he was up to something, but she could be patient and wait for him to tell her.

The fact was that John was trying to find a way to redeem himself. Not only considering his relationship to Cameron; that was absolutely his first priority. He also had to redeem himself in his own eyes. He knew he would have to do something really nice for her to show her how much he appreciated her being around, to show her how much he regretted that he treated her so bad. He simply KNEW that he HAD to do it. But the more he thought about it the less usable ideas he had. Until his mother, without any knowledge that she with her decision also solved her son's problems, said something that John accepted gladly as a gift from heavens … or from his mother.

About two weeks after the incident, Sarah and John sat together with Derek and Cameron in the living room and discussed Sarah's plan to finally do something what normal families did all the time: to make a winter vacation in some, if possible, more remote resort. It was definitely a security risk, what Cameron, sitting beside John on the couch, pointed out bluntly immediately after hearing Sarah's plan. But for once in the history, Sarah didn't want to hear anything about security risks or lurking terminators. One look into the bright eyes of her son gave her all reassurance she could ask for; he so wanted to have at least one normal week that she simply couldn't ruin that now. Little did she know that John was more eager to spend a week together with Cameron and would do anything to grant her any wish she might have than to have one normal week like his mother believed.

**THE END**

* * *

_A/N_

_I hope that this short story explained satisfactory why John and Cameron changed so much in "Wintertale". _

_The first two stories of this little series showed them what they mean to each other and brought them together. Normally it's easier to admit to your feelings, than living with them on a daily basis, which can be something quite differently and definitely not as easy as it might seem in the beginning. _

_Coping with real life, solving the problems as they arise … that's exactly what awaits our friends in my next story, which will be a sequel to "Wintertale". It is already 'under construction' and I hope to start posting it in late summer. _


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